Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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