Dual....:-)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
