grandma shit on top of the toilet
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
