you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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