her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
