Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
