She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
