The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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