You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
a search helicopter?!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
