No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
