how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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