im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize