Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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