If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
