Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
