Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
