susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
