I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
