She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
