The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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