real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
