My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
