apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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