i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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