that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
