maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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