Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
