Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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