Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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