I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
