; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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