Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
