Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
