i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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