Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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