I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
