I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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