He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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