She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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