you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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