I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
