Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
