You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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