Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
