If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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