Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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