you have to choose: penises or morals?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The struggles of a small town man whore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
