Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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