I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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