i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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