i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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