That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
