peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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