I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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