what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
