Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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