oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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