I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize