College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
