Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
