lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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