We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
