ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
