Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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