hotel room ftw
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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