He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
soo... how was my night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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