just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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