whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
