he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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